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seasons November 5, 2006

Posted by clumsyraine in NaBloPoMo, Shootin' the breeze.

Even though it’s been 80 degrees during the day, I still know it’s fall. The changing seasons in west Texas are always confusing… it will likely be in the 40s when I wake up to take Harry to work in a few hours. I still feel it… I used to be able to bring my groceries in on Wednesdays in relative dusk after 9pm… this week, it was dark before I left work to head home and even make the list.

I really don’t like what’s happened to me the past few years… I used to relish in being a “cold” more than “hot” person. A “dark” vs. “light” person. A “night” vs. “day” person. Maybe it was because I hung out with “that” crowd, the dark and sort of demented (haha) crowd. Maybe it’s another sign that I’m growing up, and away from wanting to be in that frame of mind… which I actually thought I did quite awhile ago… Then again, I’ve felt ‘off’ during this time of year for awhile now. So maybe. I shed my propensity for the harsh, sad music (though loud and fast are still all good), for the violent, gory movies that I’d adored since childhood. Maybe it’s just one more thing I shed.

I’d stll prefer my house to be cool rather than hot, to me it’s so much more fun to layer up and snuggle up in blankets than it is to be sweaty and miserable. But as far as outside weather… the early darkness and the nighttime cold just make me feel so bleak. It makes me want to frown all the time, even when the sun is up, because I know it will just get worse over the next few months.

I also don’t look forward to the winter holidays much anymore… they used to be such great family gathering times when I was growing up, but when my aunt and grandmother passed away within a year or so of each other when I was away at college… and even before that, when they were both sickly and no one could travel with them… the holidays just became something to be endured. My birthday is December 7th, but that doesn’t even make it much better.

I just wish it was January1st already.



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